The Long Goodbye
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The Long Goodbye
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Benoni Bulletin-- 100707--The Long Goodbye"THE LONG GOODBYE. . .
Goodbyes are usually painful. Long, drawn-out
goodbyes are soul destroying. They prolong the agony of departure and
they intensify the anticipation of separation. Most of us are somewhat
gregarious even if we happen to be introverts. Care-givers for the aged
and chronically infirm know the devastating effect of the "long
goodbye." Alzheimer's disease patients may be described as the living,
walking dead. They figuratively and literally experience death twice.
They die when their brain no longer is able to interpret their world.
They emotionally separate from their known world into the oblivion of
just not knowing. They die again when their spirits depart from their
bodies, James 2:26. The long interlude between that first and second
death is the longest goodbye of all. It hurts. It takes its toll on the
caregiver and the loved-one concerned.
When our long-term fellow missionaries, whom we
dearly loved, began to leave the harvest fields of Africa, Donna said,
"I hate goodbyes." No matter how long they stayed, one after another
they left. Some left to pursue other careers or adventures. Some had
family concerns that drove them to take the way out. Others succumbed to
terminal illness that left us with the mixed emotions of both
helplessness and joy for their new found freedom. The pain of separation
hung on long afterwards. There was an almost tangible void where once
they had been. But inevitably that time comes. New workers mitigate the
sense of loss and soon we are operating full speed ahead again. Time
heals with God's oversight.
Losing a loving dad or a caring mom is without
parallel. To attempt to describe the end of that era in our lives is
vain. Someone, who once meant so much to us, is no longer there. There
is a sense of unreality about it. We know that God ordered nature that
way. We know that we grow on many levels from that experience, but it
doesn't make it any easier to bear. It does, however, make us aware of
our own mortality. It makes us aware of the brevity of life. It shows
us how precious shared moments are. It teaches us not to squander the
times that we have together. It encourages us to make precious memories.
We learn to value time, Ephesians 5:19. It tells us that the meter is
running and the time for obedience to God is at hand.
When the news of Ms. Winnie's devastating fall came,
we were overcome with sorrow. We knew what it meant to "break a hip" at
age 98. It was the first phase in saying goodbye to someone more dear to
us than words could ever describe. Donna scrambled to make emergency
flight plans. Mike, Donna's loving brother, immediately retraced his
steps back to Kerrville again from whence he had just returned to his
own home. Both were present at their mom's side when she expired. They
each said goodbye to her in their own individual way. There was joy that
the time of customary human suffering was now abated. There was also
that deep sense of loss that death in our world engenders. But, "we do
not sorrow as those who have no hope" for as we part at the footstool of
God we gather at the throne once again. It is also a "long goodbye,"
because we don't know how long it will be before we see her again. We do
know that Christians never see each other for the last time. We look
forward to our heavenly rendezvous.
Winnie is gone, but her influence lingers on . Her
life was filled with zest for living. She never met a stranger. She was
generous to a fault. Her hospitality was overwhelming. She always took
the underdog under her wing. She nurtured the troubled and sorrowing.
She was a mother who molded her children in Christ's image and it shows.
If you had the choice of all the mother's in the world, you probably
would have chosen her. She was unique and without parallel. She was a
fun person to be around. I loved her not only because she was the mother
of my darling sweetheart, but because she was such a unforgettable
character. Even now when I think about her, I laugh and I cry and I feel
thankful. It was really fun "driving Ms Winnie." All who came under her
influence still feel blessed. "Her children rise up and call her
blessed," Proverbs 31.
It will be a singular honor to officiate at her
memorial service. I hope there is another "Winnie" lurking somewhere in
the wings. Let's hope so.
Love you all,
Al --"The Horne of Africa"
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