"I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase"
1 Corinthians 3:6
A Message From the Horne of Africa
"AT THE BEEP"
01/18/2009
How do you feel when you call someone on the telephone and you hear, "At the beep, leave your message?" Are you thrilled when you call your bank for account information and no one is available to take your call? Instead of a real human being, however, you hear those exasperating words. Does it appear to you that the whole world is "away from his desk?" Where is somebody--just anybody--when we need them?
As a rule, we hate talking to machines. Have you ever seen a man talk to a hammer when he struck the wrong nail? Usually those words are not found in a standard dictionary. Back in "crank-handle" telephone days, a old spinster was informed she had won $5,000 in a radio contest. She was so excited. She just had to tell someone, but she lived alone. She cranked the old antique phone to contact the operator. "Operator," she said, "Give me just anybody!" Everyone needs someone to listen to them sometime. That's why talking machines drive us crazy. Especially those with a menu. Ych! The only thing that is worse is a customer service technician in India or some country where pidgin English is the language of choice!
Sometimes creative answers greet our ears when we phone, prompting a smile even from a stony face. Here are some examples I discovered in a local publication recently: (1) "Hi. Now you say something." (2) "This is John. If you are the phone company, the check is in the mail. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are the bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are one of my friends, you owe me money. If you are female, don't worry, honey, I got plenty of money." (3) "Hi. John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator speaking. Please speak very slowly and I will stick your message to myself with one of these magnets." (4) "Hello, you are talking to a machine capable to taking messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or hot tubs. Their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their church. They do not need to have their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number." (5) "Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and may be used against you. So speak now or forever hold your peace."
We depend a great deal on our hearing. Jesus said, "Consider carefully how you listen," Luke 8:18. Some folks practice selective hearing. Children especially are masters at this. They mostly miss: "Take out the garbage," but they never miss: "Here's your allowance." They hear only what they want to hear. They filter out what is deemed demanding or exacting even if it might be life-threatening. Jesus also said, "Consider carefully what you hear," Mark 4:24. Our world overflows with decibels of dubious decadence. Worthless words. Tuneless music. Some folks allow their ears to become "rubbish receptacles" or "trash cans." That reminds me of the old computer acrostic: GIGO, which stood for "garbage in--garbage out." The mouth overflows with what we have allowed to fill our hearts in the first place. To quote John's sevenfold admonition to the seven churches of Asia, "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches," Revelation 2:7, 11, 17, 29; 3:6, 13, 22.
We conclude with an adaptation of an old prayer-poem: "Lord, fill my ears with worthwhile stuff and nudge me when I've heard enough!" The only message that is timeless has no beep. It is in the Bible for all to see--in black and white. Read it. Practice it. Share it.
Love you all,
Al--"the Horne of Africa."